You listen to the music of your soul, it yells and basks at your filthiness and obduracy, your broken heart, shattered ego… your crushed petals.
You barely recall the details of how it got crushed; a cold evening, just after it rained. He parked his car a few miles away from your apartment, because your father wouldn’t allow any man come close. Wrapped in his arms on the cracked leather back-seat of his car – a rush of blood and about a pang of pain. Here is where the memories fade because you got dumped, just after.
Very broken, you swore never to fall cheap; but not long after, you found love.. or, so you thought. The love that came, it swept you off and you got blown. With his tender, sweet words, you wished he was the first… but, little did you know that, he was just like the first.
You felt he was your knight… shinning… armor. Perfection redefined. You felt wrong, cause you got drown, you sank… then you choked.
A month and a half, you found it not. You got a PT strip, shaky hands and all, you nervously dipped it in. Eyes shut and head thundering, you anxiously counted down to ten seconds. Face stricken, you glared at the strip; and there it was; two thick red lines staring at you- eyeball to strip-patch.
You dialed his number but to no avail, you slipped on your shoes and tied a scarf; the scarlet scarf he got you a few weeks back.
Motioned to his flat with a heaving heart, it beat so loud you could barely hear yourself think. Dashed into his room forgetting to knock, you found two bodies entwined on the same hammock you once were entwined. If this was a movie, the whole script would be re-written – from scratch!
But then it was not some movie, you were crushed and your pieces seemed impossible to gather. You stuttered bitterly, spitting out words like an angry downpour. He stared at you cluelessly, dropped a few thousands, calmly advised you to get rid of and firmly warned you never to come back. Your feet gave way and the cold floor welcomed you with condemning arms. You managed to grab his feet, pulling, pleading and reminding him of how he promised forever – forever and always.
He kicked at you and slammed the door, your heart thudded; an ear-straining empty echo lingered. You bit your lips and wailed in agony, you did not want the birth, yet you feared the death. Tattered, torn, worn – you do not see a cure.
Don’t let this mess fool you, beautiful! Go ahead, pick up your petals; the very crushed and battered of the lot, put them in a Vase and water them. Then watch them blossom again into an undoubtedly redefined bouquet.
You can dust off and regain a swirling momentum because right before you lies petals of hope, petals that still have life in them. After-all, crushed is not destroyed.